Mom guilt can best be described as the disappointment we feel when we haven’t met our expectations as mothers. The feeling of mom guilt can be incredibly lonely and disheartening. Oftentimes, mom guilt casts a shadow of shame and fear, which is not from the Lord.
However, we can always find a silver lining when we view a negative emotion through God’s lens. Because of this, we can start to view mom guilt as a positive aspect of our parenting journey. Below are three reasons why embracing mom guilt is beneficial for Christian mothers.
Embrace mom guilt to foster community with other moms.
Sometimes, mom guilt can spur open discussion with other mothers. Parenting is certainly not for the faint of heart, and it is the biggest responsibility God has given us. Because of this, the pressures of parenting can often lead to feelings of uncertainty and fear. Most of us have faced the irrational fear that we are somehow messing up our children.
When you surround yourself with other Christian moms and role models, you can find inspiration and encouragement, especially when overwhelmed by mom guilt. Learn from other women who have already navigated the challenges you are facing. In Titus 2:3-5, the Bible instructs older women, or those more mature in Christ, to mentor younger women. They should be revered as godly examples of how to cope with the trials of motherhood.
The Bible is full of examples of older women mentoring the next generation. For instance, Naomi guided her daughter-in-law Ruth as she embarked on a relationship with Boaz and later aided in the upbringing of Ruth’s son, Obed.
In 2 Timothy, we see the example of Timothy, who received a strong religious upbringing from his mother, Lois, and grandmother, Eunice, despite his father being an unbeliever. Truthfully, there is so much wisdom to be gained from those who have already been through the journey of motherhood.
Furthermore, it’s important to connect with other mothers in the same stage of parenting. You can provide one another with encouragement and support through various parenting obstacles. Offer advice to other moms facing parenting challenges you have already experienced.
As mothers, having a trustworthy support system is such an invaluable resource. Remember, the root of mom guilt stems from our perceived failures and shortcomings. Transform that negativity into positivity by fostering a community of like-minded women.
Embrace mom guilt because it encourages us to lean on god.
Thankfully, God covers our imperfections with His grace and understanding! Embrace mom guilt by turning to the Bible and its many examples of God’s love towards us.
In Philippians 4:6-7, the Bible says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (NIV) This just about says at all! Turn to God in prayer when you are struggling with feelings of mom guilt. Lay all your anxieties, fears, and shortcomings at His feet, and let him carry those burdens for you.
Many Bible verses are an encouragement when you are filled with mom guilt. Some of my favorites include:
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 5:1 (NIV)
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 (NIV)
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
“Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.” Hebrews 10:22 (NIV)
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest in me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Embrace mom guilt by modeling empathy & forgiveness to your children.
Inevitably, we will make mistakes in parenting time and time again. That’s just the reality. For instance, there may be moments when we are short with our child because we’re busy, and they’ve been asking the same question every ten minutes for the past hour. Or we might raise our voice at our preteen, who is testing the boundaries of our patience that day. I’m just a mom speaking from personal experience here…
However, these moments of “less-than-stellar” parenting provide us the perfect opportunity to model empathy and forgiveness to our children. Surprisingly, nobody expects us to be perfect parents—least of all our kids! As I have told my children many times, it’s not about mistakes made but how we respond to them that truly matters.
Proverbs 22:6 states, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Every time we apologize and ask our children for forgiveness, we reinforce the importance of that behavior in them as they grow. The central message of Christianity is that Christ died on the cross for our sins so that we can be forgiven. As parents, it is vital to model and create a Christ-centered home emphasizing the importance of forgiveness.
Ephesians 4:32 reminds us, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Isn’t this the message we want to share with our children? When you feel that pressure on your heart or realize you didn’t handle a situation as well as you could have, use it as a teaching tool. Turn that negative experience into a positive lesson. This approach will also help build a stronger connection with your child. When they mess up, they will feel safe turning to you for forgiveness.
In the grand scheme, I want my children to understand and learn this important lesson: nobody is perfect, and everyone is bound to make mistakes repeatedly. The key is to handle those mistakes with grace by asking for forgiveness. Instead of letting feelings of mom guilt weigh you down, use them to build a strong and lasting relationship with your children.
Mom guilt will be a constant presence throughout your motherhood journey. Embrace it and allow it to empower you rather than bring you down. Look for the silver lining in those negative emotions and use them to foster community and connection with those around you. Draw closer to God and seek His guidance. Finally, let mom guilt enable you to teach your children that grace and empathy are among the greatest blessings of all.
