marriage

Inescapably, at some point, you will face a rough patch in your marriage.  Learning how to navigate conflict and emerge victorious on the other side is crucial for a happy and lasting relationship.  In a time when divorce is so prevalent, it can be tempting to throw in the towel when things get rough.  Often, putting in the work to fix and heal your marriage may seem daunting.  You might wonder, is it worth the effort?  Is it too far gone?  Can I forgive?  The answer is yes; with some effort, you can.  It may not be easy, and it will take time, but your marriage is so worth it.  At its core, marriage is the union of two very different and imperfect individuals.  In Genesis 3:16 it says, “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”  This verse shows that there will be times of conflict, and you will certainly face power struggles with your partner.  However, Luke 1:37 also states, “For with God nothing is impossible.”  There is peace and understanding on the other side of every situation.  Below are seven steps you can take when working through a rough patch in your marriage and moving towards healing your relationship. wallow in your feelings – but don’t stay there too long. One of the biggest mistakes you can make when dealing with a rough patch in your marriage is simply burying your feelings and emotions.  This may provide temporary relief, but eventually, those feelings will resurface, often at the most unexpected times and places.  Acknowledging your emotions, whatever they may be, is the first step toward addressing the situation at hand. It’s important not to remain in a state of anger, despair, or darkness for too long.  Allow yourself the time and space to grieve or process any hurt feelings.  After that, make a conscious decision to distance yourself from that negative space so you can begin moving toward healing. By pulling yourself out of negativity, you can clear your mind, focus on the problem at hand, and create a plan of action.  This approach will help you process your emotions and take those first steps forward.   clean up your side of the street. No matter what challenges you may be facing during a rough patch in your marriage, it’s essential to remember that there are always two sides to every story.  The situation you find yourself in is a result of the actions of both partners, not just one.  It’s easy to blame your significant other when things go wrong, but it’s crucial to first look inward and recognize your contributions to the issues at hand. Right now, your focus should be on understanding how your actions have led you to this point.  Consider which areas of your life need reflection and improvement.  What aspects of yourself require healing and resolution? Use this moment as an opportunity for soul-searching and personal growth.  Remember that self-improvement is a lifelong journey.  There is beauty in the fact that, with God’s grace, our lives are a continuous process of growth filled with second chances.   click here to get YOUR FREE DAILY PRAYERS FOR your HUSBAND BOOKMARK! focus on your own self-care. In times of trouble, it’s important to prioritize self-care.  Focusing on your well-being can help you maintain a positive mental outlook despite your current situation.  As the saying goes, “When you look good, you feel good.” Engaging in good self-care can have a positive impact on your mood.  Participate in activities that bring you joy—whatever that may be—as a way to help you manage the stress you may be experiencing.  This will enable you to think more clearly and make decisions from a place of maturity and rationality. Additionally, self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant or costly.  I’m not suggesting you book a luxurious spa day.  Instead, self-care can be as simple as taking a bath, trying out some new skincare products, or relaxing with a good book.  These simple activities can provide you with a positive outlook and help shift your mindset, which is especially important during a rough patch in your marriage.   put hurt feelings aside & just have fun. There is truth in the adage, “laughter is the best medicine.”  Laughter and having fun can significantly contribute to healing and rebuilding connections.  Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your marriage is to set aside hurt feelings and just enjoy time with your spouse. Spending quality time together can help you remember the good times and the reasons you fell in love in the first place.  Take the time to engage in activities you both enjoy.  Whether it’s going to the movies, bowling, or cooking a meal together, find something that brings you joy.  This shared experience can help soften your heart towards each other and allow you to rediscover the person you married. In long-term marriages, it is easy to become complacent and forget how to “date” your spouse.  We often think we know everything about our partner and stop trying to create new experiences together.  However, this is far from the truth!  As individuals, we are always growing, learning, and evolving.  The goal should be to continually date your significant other.  You might be surprised by what you continue to learn and discover about the person you married.   pray for your spouse & lean into your faith. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is to pray for them, both in good times and in bad.  Honestly, it can be incredibly difficult to pray for your spouse in a moment when they are your least favorite person. However, this is when you should pray the hardest.  Pray for understanding and wisdom regarding your situation.  Ask God to heal your heart and your partner’s heart. Prayer acts as a balm that helps soothe the fear, anxiety, and stress you may be feeling.  Remember, Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious

I’ll be honest; I haven’t always been the best listener.  It is still an area where I require a lot of grace and constant practice.  However, I’ve learned that one of the biggest gifts I can give my spouse is to be an active listener in our marriage.  By being an active listener, I am treating my husband with respect and giving him a safe space to express his feelings. Safety is something that we all crave and desire–especially from the person who is supposed to be our closest ally on Earth.  I believe being an active listener is crucial for a healthy and happy marriage.  Below are seven strategies to help you better engage your partner and have true, meaningful conversations on a deeper level. An active listener is in the moment. Life is busy!  There’s a constant list of to-do’s running through my brain at any given moment.  I blame it on that Type A personality I’ve been blessed with!  However, there is a time and place for everything. When I am sitting down and having a conversation with my spouse, I make sure to be present and in the moment.  This is a time to be cherished.  We all talk about how we wish we had better communication with our spouses, but when those moments arise, we neglect them. When you are having a conversation with your spouse, put everything else to the side: you’re to-do’s, the needs of your family, or whatever else might be on your mind.  Those things can all wait.  Right now, give your spouse the 100% you both deserve. An active listener makes eye contact. One of the easiest ways to show your spouse that you are present in a conversation is to give them eye contact.  Resist the urge to look at your phone.  Or, for that matter, stop whatever you are doing altogether.  Eye contact is such a simple way to show that you are engaged and actively listening. Eye contact shows that you are interested in what the other person is saying.  You are signaling that you are focused on them and whatever information they are relaying.  It adds a level of value to the speaker that encourages them to open up, which often results in more meaningful conversation. Eye contact is especially important during an emotionally-charged conversation.  Giving eye contact helps you convey your emotions while simultaneously showing empathy to your partner.  They can see that emotion and empathy in your eyes, which allows them to feel safe in opening up about their feelings.  Men especially tend to struggle with emotions, so try to always be that safe and understanding space for your husband. CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR FREE DAILY PRAYERS FOR YOUR HUSBAND BOOKMARK! an active listener isn’t planning their response. Oftentimes, especially if the conversation we are having with our spouse is of the more “heated” variety, we tend to let our mouths run ahead of us.  I know that I have certainly been guilty of this in the past. Our gut reaction is to put up our defenses and respond without thinking, which, of course, usually leads to an unnecessary escalation.  Eventually, we are engaged in an argument that probably has nothing to do with the original topic at hand. The truth is that when you are thinking about your response, you aren’t listening in the first place.  That all-too-important advice of “listen before you speak” is crucial when it comes to communicating with your spouse.  So much unnecessary marital strife would be avoided just by following that one simple practice. An active listener is sensitive to non-verbal cues. There is so much you are conveying to your spouse without even saying a word.  Using and understanding body language is a key element in becoming an active listener. For example, if you are slumped over, arms across your chest, and looking at the floor, what message are you giving your spouse?  Probably one of disinterest and boredom.  On the other hand, if you are sitting up, making eye contact, and have an open posture, you are showing your spouse that you are active and engaged in the conversation.  Other ways you can be a more active listener through body language include nodding your head when appropriate and mirroring your spouse’s body language. You can also get a lot of non-verbal clues from your spouse’s body language during conversation.  For instance, If your spouse is smiling, making eye contact, and has an inviting posture, they are feeling good about the conversation.  However, if your spouse has their arms crossed or is defensive in posture, it’s probably best to put that conversation aside for a later time.  Learn to use visual cues and body language to your advantage to improve and create an effective conversation with your loved one. An active listener engages with open-ended questions. Usually, unless you are having a “soap box” moment, one-sided conversations aren’t fun for anybody involved.  Show interest and be an active listener by asking open-ended questions.  This will help keep the conversation flowing and lead to deeper, more meaningful conversations. Open-ended questions help get to the root of your spouse’s feelings and needs, allowing them to build more trust in you by feeling heard and understood.  Also, gentle probing with open-ended questions can give you greater insight into your spouse’s mind, helping you understand the reason behind their actions and behaviors. We all want to know our significant other on a deeper level, so be curious and encourage your spouse with open-ended questions.  This will lead to a closer bond and deeper friendship. CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR FREE DAILY PRAYERS FOR YOUR HUSBAND BOOKMARK! An active listener paraphrases for understanding & asks for clarification when necessary. As a rule, interrupting is not the move.  However, don’t be afraid to paraphrase or ask for clarification if you do not understand something.  This shows your significant other that you are on the same page.  At our core, we all

As a Christian wife, covering your husband in prayer is one of the most loving things you can do.  Personally, this is something I make time for every morning.  Below are the 10 prayers I say daily for my husband. pray for his protection. “Lord, I pray for your physical protection over my husband today.  Protect him from accidents, anyone who may wish him harm, and bad situations.  Be with him as he goes out into the world to provide for our family.”  Amen. pray for his health & well-being. “Lord, I pray you protect my husband from illness and any other physical ailments.  If there’s any disease lurking and unknown in his body, I pray your healing hand over him.  Please God, protect my husband mentally, emotionally, and physically.”  Amen. pray he is a responsible father to your children. “Lord, I pray you help my husband to be the father each of our children needs.  Help him to build a personal relationship with each of our children.  The Bible says in Ephesians 6:4 that fathers should not provoke their children to anger.  Help him to remember this as he interacts with our children.   “I know that he oftentimes is exhausted after a long day of work, but help him to realize that those moments he spends with our children before bed are crucial.  Thank you for the children You have blessed us with, and help us to raise them according to Your will and Your way.”  Amen. click here for your free daily prayers for your husband bookmark! pray for his work. “Thank you, Lord, for the fact that my husband can work and provide for our family.  Thank you for the job that you have provided him with.  Continue to open up doors of opportunity for my husband that no man can close.  Help him to continue to grow and thrive in the workplace.  Help him to make and achieve his goals as he works to provide an income for our family.”  Amen. pray for his relationship with others. “Lord, I pray for my husband’s relationship with others.  Help him to be smart and wise in how he interacts with other people today.  Help him to be a peacemaker, not a conflict-seeker.   If conflict does arise today, help him to handle the situation with grace and humility.  Remind him to always be a role model to those around him, especially to other young men and to those who look to him as a role model.”  Amen. pray he has a personal relationship with god. “Lord, I pray that my husband focuses daily on his relationship with You.  I pray that he is sensitive to You and Your plan for his life and our family.  Let him lean not on his own understanding, but to seek You in all things.” Amen. pray for his leadership in your home. “Lord, I pray that my husband is a good leader in our home.  Help him to protect our family should there ever be a need or circumstance.  Help my husband to become the spiritual leader in our home that you have called him to be.  Even though we are partners in our marriage, help me to honor my husband and the decisions he makes for our family.”  Amen. pray for wise dedication of family finances. “Lord, I thank you for the provisions you have given our family.  Help my husband and I to be good stewards of all the blessings you have provided us with.  Help us to use our finances to provide for ourselves, as well as for your Kingdom.”  Amen. pray for his courage & strength. “Lord, I pray you give my husband courage and strength, no matter what circumstances he may find himself in.  Help him to understand that courage and strength come from you.”  Amen. CLICK HERE FOR YOUR FREE DAILY PRAYERS FOR YOUR HUSBAND BOOKMARK! pray you are the wife he needs at this moment. “Lord, I do not know what my husband faced today.  Help me to be the wife he needs at this moment.  Help us both to be sensitive to one another and to help each other as we create a beautiful life together.  If it is Your will, I pray to grow old with my husband, hopefully, surrounded by grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  Thank you for all the blessings you have placed upon our family.”  Amen. Covering your husband daily in prayer is one simple thing you can do as a woman of God.  Take those few minutes in the hustle and bustle of everyday life to come before the Lord with your partner.  Women do not realize what a strong power of prayer they possess within themselves.  We are truly called to be prayer warriors for our families.

There is one piece of advice that I wish every newlywed wife received on her wedding day.  It would probably reduce the number of divorces in our world today dramatically.  That piece of advice is the following, “Women hold power over the trajectory of their marriage.”  We have so much more control over our marital circumstances than we can even begin to imagine.  Learning how to harness and use that power responsibly is something that every married woman needs to understand. One thing is for certain: we are the keeper of our home.  It is our responsibility to create a peaceful and loving environment for our marriage and family.  Below are seven things that we can implement today to help “build up” our homes and create the marriage we desire. A Christian woman knows when to bite her tongue. “Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Proverbs 21:9 (NKJV) If you look at the book of Proverbs, it’s kind of funny how many times the sentiment of a “nagging” wife is repeated over and over again.  It’s like God is saying, “Pay attention!  This one is important!”.  We see it in verses like Proverbs 21:9 mentioned above, as well as in Proverbs 21:19, 27:15 & 25:24, to name a few.  It is so true, though!  In my opinion, our tongue is one of the biggest weapons we have.  It can build someone up, or, on the other hand, it can tear someone down in the blink of an eye.  We must learn to control our tongue with the person we have chosen to spend our life with.  Encourage your spouse.  I know how irritating it can be to find their socks right next to the hamper, the toothpaste left out, or even worse, their facial hair just sitting in the sink!  I get it, believe me.   But instead of being that “nagging” wife, it is important for us to use our tongues wisely and to pick our battles.  Choosing love over anger wins every time.  And if that doesn’t work, there’s always the “sandwich” method. Air your grievances while making sure they are wrapped in a word sandwich of “niceness.”  Believe me, sometimes it is all about the delivery!   A christian woman cleans up her side of the street. “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, May be won by the conduct of their wives.” 1 Peter 3:1-2 (NKJV) I know we have all said to ourselves at one time or another if only he would just change.  Let me ask you something: have you ever considered what your side of the street looks like?  Instead of focusing on the things you cannot change, try focusing on what you can change.  The Bible tells us in 1 Peter 3:1-2 that we can win our spouse not by trying to change them but instead by changing ourselves.   This is so important, especially when your marriage is not looking its best.  Turn the tables on your spouse and start focusing on you.  Make them curious as you work on fixing those bad habits and become a better version of yourself.  Without saying a single word, your spouse may become motivated to start working on their habits, and soon you will have a brand new marriage.   Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.  You and your spouse are constantly evolving and growing.  This means that the spouse you have today is not the same spouse you married.  The only way to achieve a marriage that lasts 50+ years is to learn and grow together.   CLICK HERE FOR YOUR FREE DAILY AFFIRMATION CARDS FOR MOMS! A christian does not try to be the man of the house. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.”  Ephesians 5:22-23 (NKJV) I know the above verse can be one that sometimes gives a Christian woman pause.  But it is important to remember that “submit” does not mean to be under your husband’s thumb.  It means to allow your husband to be the man of the house instead of trampling over him and trying to make every decision ourselves.   In theory, we all want our husbands to be the spiritual leader of our home, am I right?  But when it comes to putting that concept into practice and allowing our husbands to handle the reins,  well, that’s when things get difficult. When God created men and women, we were each given specific roles.  Unfortunately, ladies, we were given the supporting role.  We are meant to build up our husband and support him as the man of the house.  If you treat your husband as the leader of the home, he will become the leader of your home.     a christian woman is virtuous. “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.” Proverbs 12:4 (NKJV) A virtuous woman is moral, has a strong character, does good deeds, and is a positive influence on others.  I don’t know about you, but boy is that a lot to live up to.  It can be a lot of pressure, but God does not expect us to be perfect.  All He wants is our best. There is one thing that the Bible makes clear: it is good for a man to have a wife.  Ladies, we are a gift to our husbands.  We are meant to make each other’s lives better and more fulfilling.  Proverbs 31:1 says that a virtuous wife is like a ruby to her husband.  It is important to take into account how you interact with your family, take care of your home, and help others in your community by striving to be a