parenting

Mom guilt can best be described as the disappointment we feel when we haven’t met our expectations as mothers.  The feeling of mom guilt can be incredibly lonely and disheartening.  Oftentimes, mom guilt casts a shadow of shame and fear, which is not from the Lord. However, we can always find a silver lining when we view a negative emotion through God’s lens.  Because of this, we can start to view mom guilt as a positive aspect of our parenting journey.  Below are three reasons why embracing mom guilt is beneficial for Christian mothers. Embrace mom guilt to foster community with other moms. Sometimes, mom guilt can spur open discussion with other mothers.  Parenting is certainly not for the faint of heart, and it is the biggest responsibility God has given us.  Because of this, the pressures of parenting can often lead to feelings of uncertainty and fear. Most of us have faced the irrational fear that we are somehow messing up our children.  When you surround yourself with other Christian moms and role models, you can find inspiration and encouragement, especially when overwhelmed by mom guilt.  Learn from other women who have already navigated the challenges you are facing.  In Titus 2:3-5, the Bible instructs older women, or those more mature in Christ, to mentor younger women.  They should be revered as godly examples of how to cope with the trials of motherhood. The Bible is full of examples of older women mentoring the next generation. For instance, Naomi guided her daughter-in-law Ruth as she embarked on a relationship with Boaz and later aided in the upbringing of Ruth’s son, Obed. In 2 Timothy, we see the example of Timothy, who received a strong religious upbringing from his mother, Lois, and grandmother, Eunice, despite his father being an unbeliever.  Truthfully, there is so much wisdom to be gained from those who have already been through the journey of motherhood. Furthermore, it’s important to connect with other mothers in the same stage of parenting.  You can provide one another with encouragement and support through various parenting obstacles. Offer advice to other moms facing parenting challenges you have already experienced. As mothers, having a trustworthy support system is such an invaluable resource.  Remember, the root of mom guilt stems from our perceived failures and shortcomings.  Transform that negativity into positivity by fostering a community of like-minded women. CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR FREE DAILY AFFIRMATION CARDS FOR MOMS! Embrace mom guilt because it encourages us to lean on god. Thankfully, God covers our imperfections with His grace and understanding!  Embrace mom guilt by turning to the Bible and its many examples of God’s love towards us. In Philippians 4:6-7, the Bible says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (NIV)  This just about says at all!  Turn to God in prayer when you are struggling with feelings of mom guilt.  Lay all your anxieties, fears, and shortcomings at His feet, and let him carry those burdens for you.   Many Bible verses are an encouragement when you are filled with mom guilt.  Some of my favorites include: “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 5:1 (NIV) “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) “There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 (NIV) “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (NIV) “Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.” Hebrews 10:22 (NIV) “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest in me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 “Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9   ClICK HERE TO GET YOUR FREE DAILY AFFIRMATION CARDS FOR MOMS! Embrace mom guilt by modeling empathy & forgiveness to your children. Inevitably, we will make mistakes in parenting time and time again.  That’s just the reality.  For instance, there may be moments when we are short with our child because we’re busy, and they’ve been asking the same question every ten minutes for the past hour.  Or we might raise our voice at our preteen, who is testing the boundaries of our patience that day.  I’m just a mom speaking from personal experience here… However, these moments of “less-than-stellar” parenting provide us the perfect opportunity to model empathy and forgiveness to our children.  Surprisingly, nobody expects us to be perfect parents—least of all our kids! As I have told my children many times, it’s not about mistakes made but how we respond to them that truly matters. Proverbs 22:6 states, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”  Every time we apologize and ask our children for forgiveness, we reinforce the importance of that behavior in them as they grow.  The central message of Christianity is that Christ died on the cross for our sins so that we can be forgiven.  As parents, it is vital to model and create a Christ-centered home emphasizing the importance of forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 reminds us, “Be

Covering our children in prayer is one of the most loving things we can do as parents.  In our ever-changing world, these little people we have been entrusted with need prayer now more than ever.  Below are ten prayers to say daily for your child. pray for their protection. “For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go.” Psalm 91:11 (NLT) Lord, I pray for Your protection over my child today.  Be with them wherever they go.  Protect them from bad people, bad situations, and bad circumstances.  Let them be wise in whatever situation they may find themselves in. Amen. pray they know god’s truth. “GUIDE ME IN YOUR TRUTH AND TEACH ME, FOR You are god my savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” psalm 25:5 (NIV) Lord, guide my child towards You and Your truth.  Help them to know You and to develop a personal relationship with You.  Order their path and steps all the days of their life.  I pray that when they are older, they walk in Your will and Your way for their life.  Amen. pray for their health & well-being. “BELOVED, I Pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.” 3 John 1:2 (NKJV) Lord, I pray for the health and well-being of my child.  Bless them spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.  I pray that their bodies and brains develop normally.  I pray that their growth is normal and proportional.  I pray that you protect them from all illness and disease.  Amen. CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR FREE DAILY PRAYERS FOR YOUR CHILD BOOKMARK! pray to be the mother they need. “SHE SPEaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” proverbs 31:26 (NIV) Lord, help me to be the mother my child needs.  Help me to raise my child according to Your will and Your way.  Help me to be firm, yet gentle and kind.  Wherever I am lacking, Lord give me grace and understanding.  Guide me as a mother and show me how to raise a God-fearing child.  Amen. pray they have the father they need. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them.  rather, bring them up with discipline and instruction that comes from the lord.” ephesians 6:4 (NLT) Lord, help my husband to be the father my child needs.  Help him not to provoke our child to anger, but instead to bring them up in Your discipline and instruction.  Let him be an example to my child of what it means to be a man of God.  Amen. pray for their education. “the fear of the lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:7 (nkjv) Lord, I pray for my child’s education.  I pray that they learn all they need to learn to be a successful and productive adult, knowing how to apply all that they have learned in the real world.  I pray that You protect their eyes from false teachings.  Let them know that true wisdom and understanding come only from You.  I pray that my child develops a true love of learning and appreciates the blessing of the gift of learning.  I pray that my child can learn new concepts and ideas easily.  Amen.   pray for their peace & security. “peace i leave with you, my peace i give to you; not as the world gives do i give to you.  let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” john 14:27 (nkjv) Lord, I pray that you cover my child in Your peace and security.  I pray that they do not have a spirit of fear, but rather one of complete faith in You, regardless of whatever situation they are in.  Help them to lean on You and seek You in times of trouble.  Amen. pray they are sensitive to god’s teaching. “call to me and i will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3 (NKJV) Lord, I pray my child is sensitive to Your truth and teaching.  I pray that they hear Your voice and will for their lives.  I pray that they are sensitive to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.  Bless them and guide them, I pray, Lord.  Amen.   pray for their future. “for i know the plans i have for you, declares the lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) Lord, I pray for my child’s future.  I pray that you prepare a godly spouse for my child.  Guide my child with Your wisdom as they follow Your path for their life.  Direct my child to the purpose You have planned for their life.  Amen. CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR FREE DAILY PRAYERS FOR YOUR CHILD BOOKMARK! pray for their relationship with others. “walk with the wise and become wise, associate with fools and get in trouble.” proverbs 13:20 (NLT) Lord, I pray for my child’s relationships with others.  Help them to surround themselves with like-minded individuals.  Protect them from those that would bring them harm and hinder them in their walk with You.  Lord, as iron sharpens iron, let them do the same to all those they encounter.  Let them be a positive influence on those around them.  I pray that they are surrounded by positive and healthy relationships in all areas of their life, whether in their family life, their outside life, or with their future spouse.  Amen. All these prayers will help set your child up for success, whatever they may encounter.  We cannot live our child’s life for them, no matter how much we would like to.  We cannot protect them from everything and cannot make all their decisions.  The greatest gift we can give our children is all the prayers we gather up daily for them in our hearts.   

Now that I am a parent myself, I completely understand how my mom felt when I was not on my best behavior (Sorry, Mom!).  I would say that I was a strong-willed child.  Don’t get me wrong, I was obedient, but I first needed to say my piece before ultimately listening to my parents’ instructions.  My mom would jokingly chastise me over and over again by saying, “I hope you have a child just like you when you become a parent.”  Well, Mom, God answered your prayers! Although overwhelming, most would agree that the “baby” phase is one of the easiest.  Then comes toddlerhood, where things start to get a little more difficult.  These little humans that we were entrusted with are now mobile and starting to be able to vocalize their needs and wants.   Then comes young childhood, and this is where things start to get a little more dicey!  That sweet, rambunctious toddler now has opinions, and they certainly start to make them known.  These are innately healthy behaviors because we want our children to grow and have thoughts and ideas about the world around them.  It is important, though, that we teach our children to harness their strong-willed behaviors as they grow older, especially into their preteen and teenage years.  Ultimately, we are raising them into adults who can function as productive members of society.  Strong-willed behaviors that are challenging may ultimately help them as they navigate adulthood. Below are seven tips for dealing with strong-willed behaviors in our children.   your strong-willed child needs you to get down to their level and make eye contact. “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NKJV) Imagine how intimidating it is for a small child to constantly have adults looming over them!  Getting down to eye level with your child will ensure that you have their focus and attention.  Making eye contact gives them your undivided attention during a tense moment.  This will make your child feel important and heard.   This method is not only useful during a tense and frustrating moment.  It can be used anytime you want your child to “really” hear what you are telling them.  I’m guilty, like most of us, of taking the easy way out by yelling instructions at my children from across the room or sometimes in another room completely.  This often results in an “In a minute” or “What did you say?”, which leads to more repeating. Imagine how much more effective it is to simply walk up to your child and relay instructions face-to-face.  Odds are the tasks you are asking them to complete would happen in a more timely manner.  Once again, if your child is smaller, get down to their level and make eye contact, or if they are older, sit down and make eye contact when speaking.  Your children want to feel respected and heard, just like you.   your strong-willed child needs you to remain calm. “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly”.  Proverbs 14:29 (Niv) It is very easy to lose your cool during a particularly challenging moment with your child.  Believe me, we have all been there.  The problem is that by not taking those few seconds to take a breath before responding, we are doing more harm than good.  Our children do not hear us better when we yell; truthfully, they are probably not hearing us at all. Although the ideal is to think before you speak and respond calmly to your child, this is not always the reality.  We are humans who make mistakes.  Just like God gives us grace when we mess up, not responding to us in anger, our children deserve the same.   The best thing to do when you feel that anger bubble up inside is to take a few breaths or remove yourself from the situation until you are calm.  Then, when you can express yourself without anger, sit your child down and calmly resolve the situation.  Since we are not perfect and will mess up, we are given opportunities to model forgiveness and grace to our children.  When anger gets the better of you, make sure to apologize and ask for forgiveness from your child, and vice versa.  Yes, we are the disciplinary figures in the home, but it is okay to show your child that you make mistakes, too.   CLICK HERE FOR YOUR FREE CHORE CHART PRINTABLE! your strong-willed child needs consistent discipline. “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it”. Hebrews 12:11 (niv) Finding and implementing a discipline method is personal to each family and each child.  What works for one child may not work for another.  Regardless, the key is to choose a method of discipline that is age-appropriate for your child, is warranted for the indiscretion, and then to be consistent with our follow-through. For example, I know that I am guilty of saying I am going to take away my child’s favorite electronic device, only later to give in when they ask for it because I am busy doing something else.  This does not reinforce consequences to our children.  The only thing we are doing is teaching our children that our words are meaningless.  I get it; disciplining is hard, but boundaries are so crucial for our children.   understand your strong-willed child’s power struggles. “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation”.  Romans 5:3-4 (nlt) Power struggles occur when your child challenges your authority during